By Randy Moraitis, MA, BCPC, CPC
Mindfulness is a hot topic today in both psychology and medicine. According to Psychology Today, mindfulness “is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”
I first became mindful of mindfulness (sorry, I couldn’t resist the bad pun) several years ago while spending time with a friend who is a double board certified physician (family medicine and addictionology).
My friend was passionately extoling the virtues of mindfulness meditation in treating addiction, anxiety, depression, and more. As a pastor I was leery of the eastern mysticism baggage attached to my idea of mindfulness, but intrigued by the potential for healing. So I decided to do some research.
What I learned was both surprising and interesting. After Dr. Jon Kabat-Zin included a mindfulness treatment protocol (MBSR) at the University of Massachusetts for chronic pain, research on mindfulness meditation exploded and today most major medical schools have a mindfulness center as part of their school or hospital.
As my physician friend told me, mindfulness as part of one’s treatment, has indeed helped many patients with addiction, anxiety, depression, attention disorders, and pain management.
And regarding my concerns as a pastor—I found the work of Mark J. Myers, Ph.D. to be reassuring. Dr. Myers conducted a study at Liberty University in 2012 that showed that not only does mindfulness meditation successfully treat anxiety, depression, chronic pain and more, but mindfulness may also improve one’s ability to be present with God. I love a good win-win!
If you or someone you know suffers from addiction, anxiety, depression, attention deficit issues, or chronic pain, give mindfulness meditation a try.
Click here for a meditation you can do right now.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com, www.carepossible.com
6 Ways To Catch A Lie
Do you ever wish you were better at spotting a liar? Do you have trouble trusting your teen, spouse, or employee? Here’s some info that will help you be a better lie detector!
It takes a lot more mental effort to lie than it does to tell the truth because it’s hard work to remember all the details of the lies. This fact can help us catch a lie if we know what to look for.
Psychologist Jacqueline Evans of the University of Texas and her colleagues developed a set of lie-detecting guidelines that anyone can use. Here are six cues that, when combined, signal a lie.
What’s your favorite way to spot a liar? I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org
Websites:
www.carepossible.org
www.thecrossing.com
www.randymoraitis.com
Special thanks to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PH.D., and Psychology Today 12/14 for this info.
5 Keys to To Effective Leadership
I was fortunate enough to attend a great seminar taught by psychologist, author, and leadership guru Dr. John Townsend. The focus was on how to be a leader that others would want to follow. Here are the five keys taught by Dr. Townsend.
1. PERSONAL WARMTH:
A. You can’t really get to know the feelings of those you lead.
B. Sincere warmth will draw people to you so have empathy.
C. Take the initiative to move inside the world of other people.
D. Have a balance of grace and truth in your relationships.
E. Take the time to be a good 7-minute counselor to folks in need. To do this: Listen well, Empathize, Offer a brief solution, and then Refer the person to resources beyond you.
2. VISION ALIGNMENT:
A. Leaders must guard the vision!
B. Ensure that every part of the org chart has a person that knows the vision and how they contribute to it through their specific duties.
C. Over-communicate vision all the time!
D. Begin every team meeting with, “Here’s what we’re all about”, then share the vision.
3. VULNERABILITY:
A. People are drawn to vulnerable leaders who show both their needs and their failures.
B. People are more likely to identify with a leader who is vulnerable than one that appears “bullet proof”.
C. When sharing needs and failures, it is best to share examples from one’s professional life, not one’s personal life.
4. OBSERVABLE EXECUTION:
A. People need to see a leader leading, so leaders must create dedicated time to be visible.
B. Leaders need to do rounds into other people’s spaces.
C. An “open door” policy is a passive position and not good enough. Leaders must take initiative for substantive conversations and interactions.
5. CANDOR:
A. This is the truth you give people to help them perform better. Remember to offer both grace and truth.
B. Do not be afraid of feedback from candor.
C. Do not “fragilize” people, which is making someone fragile who is not really fragile. This disrespects people and fails to treat them as adults.
D. Do not be a “conflict avoidant leader”! Adults are resilient and adaptive, and can handle candor!
I learned a lot from Dr. Townsend’s insights and I hope you do, too!
I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org
Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com
7 Signs of Emotional Maturity
I’ve noticed that adults rarely think in terms of maturity with each other. In fact, we grown ups tend to expect maturity from other grown ups, right? And that often leads to disappointment.
Here are 7 Signs of Emotional Maturity. Take a moment to honestly assess how you are doing in each of these areas.
1. The ability to deal constructively with reality.
2. The capacity to adapt to change.
3. A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties.
4. The capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving.
5. The ability to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness.
6. The capacity to direct one’s instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets.
7. The capacity to love.
If you find yourself lacking in one or more of the above criteria, you are not alone. Many of us grew up in homes where these traits were not modeled or taught. But don’t worry, it’s never too late to grow up! Ask a trusted friend or mentor to help you grow in the areas needed, or seek a coach or counselor for expert guidance.
I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org
Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com
Designer Drugs: K2, Spice, Bath Salts–10 Things You Must Know
By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC
K2, Spice, and bath salts are designer drugs that frequently make the news because of their link to overdose deaths and abnormal behavior. In fact, just this past March there were several teen deaths in Washington State caused by designer drugs.
Designer drugs problems are not isolated to America. Europe has seen a huge influx of designer drugs, and earlier this month New Zealand actually banned all designer drugs making them illegal. (Something I believe all countries must do!)
I learned the truth about these substances at a seminar taught by a leading physician/scientist in the field of addiction and designer drugs. Here are the important highlights that everyone needs to know:
I urge every parent and care giver of children and teens to learn the facts about designer drugs and then share them with your kids. Kids think that designer drugs are harmless because they can buy them in stores or online. Nothing could be further from the truth. We need to educate our families and our communities about the serious dangers of designer drugs!
Please share this post with others to save lives and prevent overdoses.
I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org.
Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.randymoraitis.com
Intervention
By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC
If you have a loved one who is struggling with addiction–to drugs, alcohol, food, gambling or other behavior, then you are probably stressed, worried, frustrated and angry.
You’re probably wondering what you can do to help your loved one, or if there even is anything you can do to help your loved one. There is a myth that we must wait for an addict to bottom out. The truth is that for many addicts their bottom is death.
Addiction is a disease, and caring people do not wait for someone with a disease to die. Caring people do all they can to get the person with the disease into proper treatment.
For those afflicted with the disease of addiction, a proven way to get them into treatment is to do an intervention. Now, we have all seen interventions done on TV shows or in movies, so we all have an idea of what an intervention is like.
But the truth is that the method of doing interventions has greatly evolved over the years. No longer do we need to surprise our loved one and simply read letters to them (without even making eye contact!).
There is now a more effective (and more user friendly) method of intervention developed and refined by nationally known interventionist Brad Lamm who is the interventionist for The Today Show, Dr. Phil and The Dr. Oz Show.
This method is known as an invitational intervention and has as it’s ultimate goal to get your loved one to say yes to a change plan moving them towards healthier behaviors. With the support of the loved one’s family and friends, along with the guidance and pre-planning of the trained interventionist, the loved one will be set up for success and given an opportunity that may save their life as well as bring healing to the entire family.
If you do have a loved one struggling with addiction, you have options. As a Certified Intervention Professional I am happy to answer any questions you have and guide you towards the best help for your particular set of circumstances. Please feel free to contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com.
Websites: www.carepossible.com, www.randymoraitis.com
Mental Health and The Church
Observations from The Gathering on Mental Health and The Church held at Saddleback Church on March 28, 2014:
Conclusion–this was an amazing, much needed and much overdue event! Lives will be changed and even saved from the seeds planted at this event. Personally, I am very grateful to work at a church that is on the forefront of providing quality mental health care to our community.
You can watch a webcast of the event and download the accompanying workbook here: http://mentalhealthandthechurch.com/Webcast. The workbook is an incredible compilation of helpful resources and next steps in helping those struggling with mental health issues.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com
The Power of No!
Those who know me well know that I am a huge fan of healthy boundaries. So when I came across these tips on Finding Your Voice to say No by psychologist Judith Sills, Ph.D., I just had to share. If you are new to saying no and setting boundaries, give these tips a try– you will be empowered!
Finding Your Voice
1. Replace your automatic Yes with “I’ll think about it.” This puts you in control, softens the ground for a NO and gives you time to think things through to make a healthy choice.
2. Soften your language. Try “I’m not comfortable with that”, or “I’d rather not”, or “let’s agree to disagree”. You are still delivering a clear “no”, but softening your language may make it go down better.
3. Contain your feelings. Even though you may not feel like it, No is best delivered pleasantly with an air of calm. Outward calm quiets your inner turmoil and reduces the negative impact of your No on your audience.
4. Refer to your commitment to others. Say No without appearing selfish by stating how you would love to help, but must keep your prior commitment to your mother, child, etc., and you can’t let them down.
5. Realize you represent others. When you realize it is not just your own interest at stake, but that of your family’s, you will feel more assertive in giving a No to a low-ball offer or intrusion on your time.
6. Rehearse. This strategy is best for ongoing situations such as a demanding boss or recurring relational conflict with a spouse, friend, or family member. By rehearsing, you are prepared to respond with a calm, respectful No.
With some regular practice finding your voice, you just may get to the place where you can respond to any inappropriate, uncomfortable, excessive request with a firm one-word, no explanation verdict–No.
I wish you well in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.carepossible.com, www.randymoraitis.com
Mindfulness
By Randy Moraitis, MA, BCPC, CPC
Mindfulness is a hot topic today in both psychology and medicine. According to Psychology Today, mindfulness “is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”
I first became mindful of mindfulness (sorry, I couldn’t resist the bad pun) several years ago while spending time with a friend who is a double board certified physician (family medicine and addictionology).
My friend was passionately extoling the virtues of mindfulness meditation in treating addiction, anxiety, depression, and more. As a pastor I was leery of the eastern mysticism baggage attached to my idea of mindfulness, but intrigued by the potential for healing. So I decided to do some research.
What I learned was both surprising and interesting. After Dr. Jon Kabat-Zin included a mindfulness treatment protocol (MBSR) at the University of Massachusetts for chronic pain, research on mindfulness meditation exploded and today most major medical schools have a mindfulness center as part of their school or hospital.
As my physician friend told me, mindfulness as part of one’s treatment, has indeed helped many patients with addiction, anxiety, depression, attention disorders, and pain management.
And regarding my concerns as a pastor—I found the work of Mark J. Myers, Ph.D. to be reassuring. Dr. Myers conducted a study at Liberty University in 2012 that showed that not only does mindfulness meditation successfully treat anxiety, depression, chronic pain and more, but mindfulness may also improve one’s ability to be present with God. I love a good win-win!
If you or someone you know suffers from addiction, anxiety, depression, attention deficit issues, or chronic pain, give mindfulness meditation a try.
Click here for a meditation you can do right now.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com, www.carepossible.com
Treating Anxiety
Anxiety Disorders affect millions of Americans filling them with dread, fear, and uncertainty. In my last blog I shared a brief history of anxiety in society which you can view here: History of Anxiety
This post is focused on treating anxiety. Those who struggle with anxiety experience physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual symptoms, so it makes sense that treatment for anxiety address these four types of symptoms.
Here are the four areas to focus on when treating anxiety. The most complete treatment program will cover each of the four areas.
1. PHYSICAL–this category looks at how the following impacts one’s anxiety:
2. EMOTIONAL–looks at the feeling involved and how to have emotional health:
3. RELATIONAL–this area examines how we interact with others:
4. SPIRITUAL–feelings of anxiety are so deep, that a spiritual side of treatment is very effective.
Anxiety is real and can be devastating. The good news is that there is hope and healing available for those with anxiety disorders. If you struggle with anxiety, contact a physician or mental health care professional right away to get on a path of healing.I have helped many groups and individuals have healing from their anxiety and would love to help you or your loved one. For more info lease email me at randy@randymoraitis.com or call 949-303-8264.
Websites: www.carepossible.com, www.randymoraitis.com.
About Randy Moraitis
Randy is married to Kim and they live in Laguna Niguel. Together they have a blended family of five adult children and three beautiful grandchildren. (If you don’t believe Randy, he will gladly show you pictures!)Randy is a Certified Intervention Professional (CIP) and expert in helping families affected by addiction and/or mental health issues. He is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and is both licensed and ordained as a pastoral counselor. He has five professional coaching certifications and loves working with clients on executive coaching, life coaching, wellness coaching and recovery coaching. Randy has a master’s degree with emphasis in theology and counseling, a bachelors degree in management and leadership, and a certificate in health and fitness with emphasis in exercise physiology and sports psychology from UC Irvine. He has been helping groups, individuals and families get mentally, physically and spiritually healthy in Orange County for over 25 years.
Anxiety–A Brief History
Anxiety–A Brief History
Suffer from anxiety? If so, you are not alone. According to the National Institute of Mental Health over 55 million Americans struggle with anxiety.
In a quest for better understanding and relief from anxiety, author Scott Stossel chronicled the history of the evolution of anxiety (Psychology Today, Feb. 2014). Here are the highlights:
4th Century B.C.–Hippocrates describes anxiety as a medical disease caused by “body juices”. Plato and his followers argue that it’s a philosophical problem, not a physical one. This launched an enduring argument between biological and mental approaches.
1862–An anxiety ridden Union soldier is diagnosed with “soldier’s heart”, a precursor to “shell shock” and post-traumatic stress disorder.
1883–The case of a man with an open hole in his stomach sheds light on how emotion affects the digestive system. When the man is anxious, his stomach tissue turns visibly pale.
1899–The Merck Manual (a medical reference book) recommends opium as an anxiety remedy.
1908–Two psychologists connect peak performance with optimal levels of arousal, suggesting that the right balance of anxiety–not too much, not too little–can be helpful during a test or competition.
1959–The New York Times makes the first written reference to antidepressants which paves the way for a surge in pharmacological anxiety treatments.
1980–The 3rd edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is released, replacing Freudian concepts of neurosis with panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other types of anxiety.
2005–The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 18% of American adults have some type of anxiety disorder.
So anxiety is real, it’s been around for thousands of years, and it requires treatment. In my next blog I will give recommendations for those afflicted with anxiety issues. In the meantime you can check out some resources here: http://carepossible.org/resources/
I’d love to hear from you! If you need support with anxiety please contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Websites: www.carepossible.com, www.randymoraitis.com.