By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC
Depression is a very common problem. Approximately 10% of the US population, over 30 million Americans, suffer from depression–but most could be successfully treated. The first step towards healing is to know the symptoms of depression.
Here are the symptoms so you can tell if you, or someone you care about, may have clinical depression:
There is an mnemonic that mental health professionals use to list the symptoms:
SIGECAPS.
S—SADNESS—the first, most obvious symptom–more than just the blues or a funk, but a deep sadness.
S—SLEEP—some with depression have difficulty sleeping, especially between 2-4am, others with depression want to sleep all the time. They’d rather sleep than participate in life.
I—INTERESTS—the person is no longer interested in doing what were once their favorite activities.
G—GUILT—feeling guilty can contribute to depression.
E—ENERGY—feeling like you have no energy is a common symptom of depression. It feels like the wind was knocked out of your sails.
C—CONCENTRATION—people with depression find it very hard to focus so they have trouble with work or schoolwork. Their poor performance leads to more problems which can perpetuate the depression.
A—APPETITE—a sudden change in appetite is a common symptom with depression. 1 in 4 people gain weight, 3 in 4 lose weight—we see this a lot with people going through a painful divorce—the divorce diet.
P—PSYCHO-MOTOR ABNORMALITIES—for example when you’re depressed it may feel like you’re moving in slow motion.
S—SUICIDAL THOUGHTS—very common—and if you or someone you know ever has suicidal thoughts, especially if there is a time and a method—like “I am going to take pills tonight at midnight”—call 911 immediately!
For someone to be diagnosed with clinical depression, they need to have 5 or more of these 9 symptoms for 2 weeks or longer. If you think you may have depression, then make an appointment with a doctor or counselor today. There is hope for healing, so take the first step today!
If you or a loved one are affected by depression, please reach out for help today. Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Phone: 949.303.8264
Websites: www.randymoraitis.com or www.carepossible.org
About Randy Moraitis
Randy is married to Kim and they live in Laguna Niguel. Together they have a blended family of five adult children and three beautiful grandchildren. (If you don’t believe Randy he will gladly show you pictures!)
Randy is a Certified Intervention Professional (CIP) and expert in helping families affected by addiction and/or mental health issues. He is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and is both licensed and ordained as a pastoral counselor. He has five professional coaching certifications and loves working with clients on executive coaching, life coaching, wellness coaching and recovery coaching. Randy has a master’s degree with emphasis in theology and counseling, a bachelors degree in management and leadership, and a certificate in health and fitness with emphasis in exercise physiology and sports psychology from UC Irvine. He has been helping groups, individuals and families get mentally, physically and spiritually healthy in Orange County for over 25 years.
4 Therapy Skills Everyone Can Use
Most people know that hairstylists and bartenders make great amateur therapists. But what are the actual skills one needs to do therapy effectively?
According to licensed psychologist Linda Hatch, PhD, there are four skills that anyone can use to be helpful to someone in a stressful or difficult situation.
Hatch states that effective therapy allows people to notice or get in touch with themselves. Here are the four skills she recommends that anyone can use to help people get in touch with themselves and the reality of their situation.
1. Attending. When you play a therapeutic role with someone you are giving them your full attention, meaning you are not distracted by some other agenda of your own. You may have your own motives and needs but they don’t prevent you from listening fully and being fully present. This is sometimes called attunement or active listening.
2. Reflecting. Reflecting is essentially letting the person know that you are attending to them and that you understand what they are saying and that you perceive their emotional state. It is neutral. Simply reflect back what you see or hear without judgment.
3. Validating. This involves letting the person know that you genuinely accept them as they are. It indicates a belief that what they think or feel is not stupid or crazy. That their feelings are real. Once a person feels safe in assuming that their feelings, thoughts or behavior have some kind of logic then it becomes safe for the person to further examine their own inner life.
4. Reframing. This is a way to help the person see things from a different perspective. This is why it is hard to do therapy on ourselves. We get stuck in our own point of view and it takes another person to help us see things in a different light. This is not just seeing the glass half full or pointing to a silver lining. It is letting the person see through your eyes the fact that there may be different aspects or outcomes to the problem they face.
Attending, reflecting, validating, and reframing. If you can do these four skills, you can be of useful, therapeutic help to someone in need. At the very least, if you put these skills into practice you will grow in your listening skills.
Now this isn’t a license for everyone to start doing therapy on all the people around them. This is simply an encouragement and acknowledgment that, in the same way everyone should know basic first aid, even if they’re not a doctor, everyone can also know some basic therapy.
Now I encourage you to look for opportunities to apply these four skills!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com.
Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.carepossible.com and www.randymoraitis.com
Free Personality Test–Part 2
By Randy Moraitis, MA, BCPC, CPC
As I mentioned in a previous blog post there are many personality profiles out there–Myers-Briggs, DiSC, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter–most of which are used by prospective employers to determine the best hires for their companies, as well as for pre-marital counseling purposes.
These are all effective at determining personality style, but they take some time and they cost money!
Here is another free personality test that will help you learn more about your personality type and help you understand and communicate better with others.
This test is based on Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ typological approach to understanding personality.
The test is from the website www.humanetrics.com which has a lot of great information to help you grow. The website states that after completing the questionairre you will be able to:
Just click here to take the test, it is free and only takes about 5-10 minutes.
I would love to hear what your type is! You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com.
Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.carepossible.com and www.randymoraitis.com
A Meditation How-To
By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC
In my last blog post (Meditation–Is It Worth My Time?), I shared the many benefits of meditation. As promised, here is a brief introduction on how to meditate.
Harvard, Yale, University of Massachusetts Medical School, and many other reputable organizations have produced research that meditation is a very effective treatment for anxiety, depression, addiction, smoking cessation and weight loss.
If you’d like to reap the benefits of meditation, then simply follow the steps below and you will be on your way.
Please keep in mind that it is a process. We don’t get fit the first time we work out at a gym. We have to work out regularly. In the same way, meditation should be done daily or several times per week to see results. So don’t get frustrated if you do not feel much different after the first few attempts!
Meditating
Over time, you will find yourself being present more with family, friends, work, and other moments throughout the day.
Modification–you may find it very helpful and uplifting to meditate on a particular verse, proverb, phrase or quote that encourages or inspires you. Meditate on the phrase during the 5 minute focused breathing section above.
The key to successful meditation is to take it slow and be consistent!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.randymoraitis.com, www.carepossible.com
Meditation–Is it Worth My Time?
By Randy Moraitis, MA, BCPC, CPC
Do you ever feel stressed out? Has anyone ever told you to “chill out”? If so, then it’s time you considered meditation as part of your daily routine.
Numerous highly regarded studies have shown that just 10 minutes of daily meditation can reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, fight autoimmune diseases, and improve your attitude towards, and quality of, life.
Dr. Herbert Benson, Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, says, “You should be meditating every day.” That is quite a call to action from one of our nation’s leading physicians!
This is because our every day stressors from work, family, and society evoke a fight-or-flight response which increases our heart rate, breathing and blood pressure. But because we are not actually always running and fighting our body doesn’t use the hormones produced from the stress.
Dr. Benson states that these unused hormones put us at risk for a variety of diseases and conditions including anxiety, depression, insomnia, infertility, heart attacks, strokes, and more.
Dr. Benson claims that we can negate the fight-or-flight response by developing our “relaxation response”, which he claims can be done through repetitive prayer, Yoga, and of course meditation.
Meditation is great for you mental health, your spiritual health, even your physical health–but did you know that meditation can also be great for your financial health? According to a study published in the American Journal of Hypertension patients who regularly practiced meditation had a 28% decrease in physician fees.
It’s your health and your wallet, but the facts are clear–spending 10 minutes a day meditating may be the best investment you ever make!
Don’t know how to meditate? No worries! In my next blog post I will teach the basics and get you started. It’s easier than you think. In the meantime, click here for a relaxation technique that will definitely help you chill out.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Has meditation helped you?
Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com, www.carepossible.com
FREE PERSONALITY TEST
There are many personality profiles out there–Myers-Briggs, DiSC, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter–most of which are used by prospective employers to determine the best hires for their companies. These are all effective at determining personality style, but they take some time and they cost money!
There is a lesser known personality profile that is very effective, very fast and easy to take, and it’s free and fun! Here’s a link: personality test
This profile was developed by psychologists Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent. They have divided personalities into four types–Lions, Otters, Golden Retrievers and Beavers. The way they developed this test makes it fun and easy even for kids to take.
So why should anyone take the test? Because personality tests can be a great tool to help us learn more about ourselves and learn how to communicate more effectively in our relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. For example, if you know their personality style you can:
Quick Summary of the Four Animal Types:
LION
Strengths: Takes charge, problem solver, competitive.
Weaknesses: Too direct, impatient, and busy. Insensitive to others.
OTTER
Strengths: Optimistic, energetic, motivating, warm and friendly.
Weaknesses: Unrealistic, undisciplined, lacks follow-through.
GOLDEN RETRIEVER
Strengths: Warm and relational, loyal, sensitive to others.
Weaknesses: Poor boundaries, easily hurt, sacrifices own feelings.
BEAVER
Strengths: Accurate and precise. Discerning and analytical.
Weaknesses: Too critical, controlling, or strict.
So which one do you identify with? Most people have a dominant animal type along with a secondary animal type. The healthy person who has worked on themselves over the years will find they have a very well balanced personality reflecting different aspects of all four types.
To have some fun and take the test today, then share it with your family, friends and co-workers. By understanding ourselves and each other, we can all get along better!
I would love to hear what your animal type is! You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com.
Websites: www.carepossible.com and www.randymoraitis.com
New Global Leaders In Causing Illness–Substance Abuse and Mental Health
According to new data published in the world’s leading general medical journal The Lancet, mental and substance use disorders were the leading causes of illness worldwide in 2010.
Harvey A. Whiteford, MD, of the School of Population Health at the University of Queensland, Australia, and colleagues wrote, “These disorders were responsible for more of the global burden than were HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis, diabetes, or transport injuries.”
Overall, mental and substance use disorders were the fifth leading cause of premature death and disease worldwide, and accounted for 22.9% of all nonfatal illness — more than any other disease!This is an alarming trend and in a press release Dr. Whiteford said, “barriers to mental health care must be addressed to reduce the global prevalence of mental and substance use disorders.”
A second study published alongside Dr. Whiteford’s stated that opioid dependence was responsible for the greatest burden of disease among all illicit drugs, accounting for 55% of the 78,000 deaths linked to drug use in 2010. The study also showed that more than two-thirds of individuals dependent on drugs were male — 64% each for cannabis and amphetamines and 70% each for opioids and cocaine, and the proportion of drug dependence increased in the highest-income countries.
What can you do to address the barriers to mental health and addiction treatment?
To learn more or to help break through the barrier to treatment that so many face, visit www.carepossible.org. CarePossible is a nonprofit focused on making mental health care and addiction treatment possible for everyone.
I would love to hear from you. Please contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Websites: www.thecrossing.com and www.randymoraitis.com.
9 Symptoms of Depression
By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC
Depression is a very common problem. Approximately 10% of the US population, over 30 million Americans, suffer from depression–but most could be successfully treated. The first step towards healing is to know the symptoms of depression.
Here are the symptoms so you can tell if you, or someone you care about, may have clinical depression:
There is an mnemonic that mental health professionals use to list the symptoms:
SIGECAPS.
S—SADNESS—the first, most obvious symptom–more than just the blues or a funk, but a deep sadness.
S—SLEEP—some with depression have difficulty sleeping, especially between 2-4am, others with depression want to sleep all the time. They’d rather sleep than participate in life.
I—INTERESTS—the person is no longer interested in doing what were once their favorite activities.
G—GUILT—feeling guilty can contribute to depression.
E—ENERGY—feeling like you have no energy is a common symptom of depression. It feels like the wind was knocked out of your sails.
C—CONCENTRATION—people with depression find it very hard to focus so they have trouble with work or schoolwork. Their poor performance leads to more problems which can perpetuate the depression.
A—APPETITE—a sudden change in appetite is a common symptom with depression. 1 in 4 people gain weight, 3 in 4 lose weight—we see this a lot with people going through a painful divorce—the divorce diet.
P—PSYCHO-MOTOR ABNORMALITIES—for example when you’re depressed it may feel like you’re moving in slow motion.
S—SUICIDAL THOUGHTS—very common—and if you or someone you know ever has suicidal thoughts, especially if there is a time and a method—like “I am going to take pills tonight at midnight”—call 911 immediately!
For someone to be diagnosed with clinical depression, they need to have 5 or more of these 9 symptoms for 2 weeks or longer. If you think you may have depression, then make an appointment with a doctor or counselor today. There is hope for healing, so take the first step today!
If you or a loved one are affected by depression, please reach out for help today. Email: randy@randymoraitis.com
Phone: 949.303.8264
Websites: www.randymoraitis.com or www.carepossible.org
About Randy Moraitis
Randy is married to Kim and they live in Laguna Niguel. Together they have a blended family of five adult children and three beautiful grandchildren. (If you don’t believe Randy he will gladly show you pictures!)
Randy is a Certified Intervention Professional (CIP) and expert in helping families affected by addiction and/or mental health issues. He is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and is both licensed and ordained as a pastoral counselor. He has five professional coaching certifications and loves working with clients on executive coaching, life coaching, wellness coaching and recovery coaching. Randy has a master’s degree with emphasis in theology and counseling, a bachelors degree in management and leadership, and a certificate in health and fitness with emphasis in exercise physiology and sports psychology from UC Irvine. He has been helping groups, individuals and families get mentally, physically and spiritually healthy in Orange County for over 25 years.
Boundaries For Leaders–Book Review
Boundaries For Leaders was written by Dr. Henry Cloud, best known as the coauthor of the bestselling book Boundaries. I am a huge fan of Boundaries and really believe that it should be required reading for every human being. As a counselor it has been my observation that many problems experienced by individuals and families are often related to boundary issues.
So it was with great anticipation that I read Dr. Cloud’s new book Boundaries For Leaders, subtitled Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge.
This book was intended for, and marketed towards, executives and leaders who want to create successful organizations with satisfied employees and customers. However, I believe the principles taught by Dr. Cloud, based on his years of experience as a psychologist, life coach, and business consultant, can apply to anyone who has influence over others including parents, community leaders, and church leaders.
Boundaries for Leaders is full of tried and tested tools and techniques that leaders can use to inspire maximum performance from those they lead, as well create a mentally healthy organization.
According to Dr. Cloud a leader must, “accept that you are ridiculously in charge and that you are responsible for establishing the climate for success, setting the terms and expectations for performance with your people, for your organization, and for yourself.” (p. 235)
Some of Dr. Cloud’s suggestions for leaders include:
The bottom line: leaders get what they create and what they allow! (Side-note–so do parents!)
I highly recommend this book for everyone as I believe we all have the potential to be leaders wherever we are. Add it to your summer reading list and watch yourself become ridiculously in charge!
I would love to hear your thoughts!
Email randy@randymoraitis.com
Websites: www.thecrossing.com or www.randymoraitis.com
“The Circle Maker” Book Review
The Circle Maker is the latest book by author and pastor Mark Batterson. The book debuted on the New York Times Bestseller list last year and has found quite a following as one can see from a quick internet search of the title.
The book proved to be both easy to read, and hard to put down. In part due to Batterson’s writing style, and in part due to the intriguing, inspirational content.
The premise of the book is all about praying big and dreaming big. That we are to do this by “praying circles” around our hopes, needs, and dreams.
According to Pastor Mark Batterson, “Drawing prayer circles around our dreams isn’t just a mechanism whereby we accomplish great things for God. It’s a mechanism whereby God accomplishes great things in us.”
I found this book to be very inspirational and motivational. It encouraged me to take a look at how intentional and focused I was in my personal prayer life.
The last part of the book focuses on goal setting and the legacy we will leave. As a life coach, I was truly very excited about this section and trust that it will benefit everyone, regardless of their belief system.
This book is motivational and a call to action. As I read it I was inspired to pray more often and pray more intentionally. I was motivated to really be thoughtful about my goals and the legacy I will leave to others.
One measure of a good book is whether it motivates readers to take action. Well The Circle Maker has certainly inspired this reader. I highly recommend this book!
I would love to hear your thoughts! Email randy@randymoraitis.com.
Websites: www.thecrossing.com or www.randymoraitis.com
5 Tips for a Great Marriage
1. TALK!
It is critical for couples to talk regularly and talk from the heart! As you get to know your spouse better you should grow in learning how and when to best communicate. Be wise and pay attention to what works and what doesn’t. And when you do talk, share your feelings. If you have trouble expressing your emotions, try a feelings chart by clicking here.
2. GRATITUDE!
Having an attitude of gratitude will really change the tone of your marriage. Be sincerely grateful for your spouse, and let them know that you are grateful. Sometimes we get so busy with the daily tasks of life that we take our spouses for granted. Be thankful, then tell your spouse that you are thankful!
3. TEACHABILITY!
Be open minded and mature enough to realize that you may have some new lessons to learn. We are all works in progress that will do best if open to learning and growing through life. Sometimes couple may need a therapist or counselor to teach them the tools and skills needed to grow together through a difficult issue or season.
4. INTIMACY!
There are three types of intimacy that are key to the best marriages–relational intimacy, spiritual intimacy and sexual intimacy. When you have the first two in place, the third flows more naturally. Be sure to invest in relational intimacy through talks, activities, and date nights. Invest in spiritual intimacy by praying together and attending church together. The closeness you develop through these activities will serve to strengthen your sexual intimacy.
5. DO-OVERS!
Let’s face it, we all make mistakes! Because of this I encourage all married couples to have a rule in their marriage: if they are arguing, one spouse can say, “Let’s start over” and the other agrees.This works great for most day to day marital spats. Obviously more serious issues may require a counselor to help resolve. Bottom line–forgiveness and the willingness to start fresh is key to a healthy marriage. Holding on to resentments only hurts the marriage.
Talk to your spouse, or future spouse, about these five tips. Just having that conversation is a healthy start!
If you have any marriage tips, I’d love to hear them. You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Websites: www.carepossible.org and www.randymoraitis.com.